Today we are having a party for one of the women in our office who just got married. The party is going to be great but it didn’t come about without its share of catty drama. Matilda, the girl I told you about last week in, Truth is Key to a Witch’s Power had a completely unprofessional melt-down in the office a few weeks ago. She is a very bright woman and capable designer, but lacks emotional stability, which tends to manifest in angry outbursts, indifference and borderline insubordination.
It was Matilda’s idea to through a party so she sent out an email asking several of the women in our office if they’d like to help. Immediately several people responded offering to take on duties. It looked like the party was a go and Matilda would have plenty of help. Her response, however, to the groups enthusiasm caused quite a stir in the office. She sent out an angry accusatory email to all the ladies and copied the HR Manager (don’t ask me why) saying that she was annoyed with us. She wanted the party to be nice, not some hodge-podge of ideas. She went on to say that the guest-of-honor deserves better than a party planned over email. It was so offensive and unprofessional that she ended up really rubbing a lot of people the wrong way, including some of her closest office friends.
This is not the first time this sort of thing has happened. In the usual fashion, we waited to get our empty apology email the next day. It didn’t come. She called in sick. Another woman in our office received an email from her later that day saying that she only wanted to participate in a limited way. It wasn’t until the third day that we got an apology email followed by a list of excuses for why she acted that way. Her outburst shifted the entire dynamic in the office. For one, people are steering clear of her. Closer friendships have developed between some of the other gals. Funny, adversity really does bring people together. Now that she doesn’t want to participate our coworkers are even more miffed. We feel that if the party was so important to her that we had to be subjected to her tongue-lashing, she should at least ante up and do her part.
It took me several days to get over my anger. Finally, I was annoyed with all the mental energy I was expending thinking about how annoyed I was with her. (There was a lot of general annoyance that week). I decided to bring a sodalite crystal into my office. The magical properties of sodalite include bringing emotional balance, fostering a good group dynamic, and absorbing electromagnetic smog from computers. (A great stone for any office.) I use it as a reminder, when she gets under my skin, that I do want peace over anger. Usually, when I feel angry, I don’t want to be made to feel better. I want to embrace my anger and kick peace to the curb. It’s a gentle reminder that tension will not lead to enlightenment.
That drama went down a few weeks ago. Since then, Matilda has continued to alienate her coworkers with snide remarks, avoidance (not necessarily all bad), and lack of participation in the party planning. She skipped the first party planning meeting and walked out half-way through the second without so much as a “thanks” or “goodbye.” She totally dropped the ball on the invitations and today she is supposed to bring plates and forks to the party and nobody knows if she is going to show. Actually, there is a friendly wager on the table as to whether or not she will. I should say that betting on whether or not someone is going to put aside their emotional upheaval is not really something a good witch does. This I know. Regardless, I bet that she wouldn’t show up at all. On the flip side, I also know that I have let her insult me too many times to count over the years and always ignore it for the sake of good professionalism. Lately, I wonder if I should embrace the dark goddess and just tell her enough is enough. After all, I am an Aries. The goddess of war is part of me and occasionally wants to peek out. I want to tell her that I will no longer tolerate her bad behavior. That if she can’t remain professional and fake a little courtesy that I will make a formal complaint to HR. This party thing is personal, but there are plenty of examples of her outbursts at team meetings, with consultants, and even clients.
A few moments ago I got word that she called in sick today; the day of the party. This, of course, is standard operating procedure with Matilda. It looks like I might win the bet after all.
I wonder, how do you all handle anger? Do you go into meditation to find peace? Do you do a spell to make yourself invisible to the person who is driving you crazy? Do you embrace the dark goddess and address the problem straight on? I could definitely use a little advice here.